


Payback is a Bitch

by andrastesgrace (RoxieFlash), gallifreyslostson



Series: Family Assembled [17]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Prank Wars, because that's how some men bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 06:04:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10825284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoxieFlash/pseuds/andrastesgrace, https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallifreyslostson/pseuds/gallifreyslostson
Summary: As it turns out, Clint wildly underestimated the Star Spangled Man and his ability to plan.





	Payback is a Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> Check out Getting To Know You to recall why Clint absolutely had this coming.

“I’ll tell you what, they really should have stopped with the first one,” Clint said as he and Nat entered the elevator in the tower.  “That was the only one that actually had any suspense.”

“And yet,” Nat said, leaning back against the wall as the elevator carried them to the residential floor, “you have still gone to all four Paranormal Activity movies.”

“I’m an eternal optimist.”

“You’re a glutton for punishment.  And you made me go to all of them with you.”

“Well yeah,” he said, leading the way out of the elevator and towards the living room for a drink.  “Who else is going to hold my hand when I get scared?  Besides, I always get you a slurpee AND popcorn which, at these prices, is practically a luxury.”

“Whiner,” she said, then glared up at the back of his head when he stopped short.  “Uh, Clint?”

He didn’t say anything for a second, and she was just about to duck under his arm when she heard him mutter in a hoarse tone, “This is not a proportionate response, Rogers.”

Then she _did_ duck under his arm, only to find herself faced down by six different versions of Clint, life sized cardboard cutouts, in...varying attire.  Wildly varying.  With a lot of purple.  And--

“Is that a miniskirt?” she asked, eyes widening.

“Look away, Nat,” Clint warned behind her.  “This is...not for the faint of heart.”

“Did you really _wear_ all these?” she asked, stepping closer to one that made him look a little like Robocop.

“Oh yeah,” Steve said, winding his way between two of them to lean on the shoulder of one sporting a loin cloth and bell bottom boots.  “I think that we should bring this one back, personally.”

“This is amazing,” she whispered.  “Steve, come here, take my picture.”

“Gladly,” he said, pulling out his phone.

“What...how…” Clint managed in a dazed voice, looking around as Natasha posed next to the skirted one, kissing it’s cardboard cheek.

“The internet is so helpful,” Steve said, taking a couple of shots of Nat.  “And Kinkos.  Did you know they’ll print _anything_?”

“I thought you were supposed to be the good guy,” Clint said, scowling at the cutouts.  “The morally upright out of all of us.”

Steve sighed, looking down for a second.  “You know, I did promise someone a long time ago that I would try to be a good man.  And looking at this…”  He paused, looking over his work again, then grinned.  “I think he’d say it was amazing too.  He was friends with Howard Stark, after all.”

“You’re a menace,” Clint said, backing away out the door again.

“Where are you going?” Nat asked.

“To find a furnace.  Stark’s gotta have one around here somewhere.”

“At least we both know we can pull off tights!” Steve shouted after him, then grinned at Natasha.  She crossed her arms, turning to stand next to him and survey his small army of fashion disasters.  She sighed, smirking as she shook her head.

“I gotta hand it to you, Rogers,” she said, glancing up at him.  “I didn’t think you had it in you.  But this is...very good.”

“Yeah, it’s not bad,” he said.  “But this is nothing.  Wait til he sees his bedroom.”

Nat’s eyes widened, and she glanced back at the doorway.  “I take it he has new wallpaper?”

“Oh yeah,” Steve said, grinning at her.  “The purple really brightens the place up.”

Just then, they heard a shout from down the hall.

“ _ROGERS!  I HOPE YOU’RE NOT ATTACHED TO YOUR KNEECAPS!”_

Steve looked down the hall, then back at Natasha proudly.  “I think he likes it.”

She stared at him a second, then started laughing.  “Remind me to stay on your good side, Rogers.  And you might wanna carry your shield around for a while.”


End file.
